Don’t wallow in self-pity

Don’t confide in people who may not be neutral and try to sort out the issue with the person involved. If you remain cheerful people will like you more, says Dr Kapil Kakar


When you are sad and not in high spirits or the right frame of mind, or when you feel that life and circumstances are unfavourable, you might end up feeling vulnerable and start wallowing in self-pity. This may make you feel light but in the long run you are at the risk of falling into a trap of self-pity that you may never be able to come out of. Therefore, it is imperative that you become cautious and not allow yourself to sink into despair.
Choose a neutral person: When you are vulnerable you tend to share your feelings with family members and coworkers but you don’t realize that you are confiding in people who may not share their true feelings for fear of spoiling their relationship with you. These people might listen to you and reluctantly agree with you but may not be in a position to help you. Therefore, you should seek help from people who are neutral and can view the situation impartially. Also, desist from sharing your feelings with more than two people.
Avoid Rumination: Avoid talking indirectly about your problems with people outside on the pretext of sharing someone else’s problems. It might seem that you are only seeking advice but every time you talk about your problems, you become sadder, more vulnerable and sink deeper into the trap of self-pity.
Face the situation: Whatever the situation, more than one person is always involved. Go directly to that person(s) and speak to him. He may try to evade the issue but you should not be deterred and take steps to seek help from people who can directly get involved and help in getting things resolved. In this way, they can help you out of your predicament.
Be cheerful: The outside world is oblivious to what is happening in your life, so don’t trouble them by being sad and dispirited. Since laughter is infectious, your being cheerful would make people like you, and enliven the atmosphere